How he Loves Us!

Today has been a big day of realizing things. I'm not sure why. I think it's because Joe left for the night. Whenever that happens, I'm hit head on with one of my biggest weaknesses, fear. I have been afraid of the dark and being alone for as long as I can remember. Joe is always telling me: all you have to do is choose not to be afraid or all you have to do is choose to have a good attitude or to choose make today the best day ever. Joe is an amazing guy, and he has the best attitude and he's so amazing for me but sometimes those things are really hard to do. But I tried tonight for him. And for some reason, tonight it worked.
God doesn't want me to live in fear and even though my imagination is super vivid and when I look out into a dark night I can imagine things being there (have u ever read my book, My Darkness?) it doesn't mean that there aren't ways to overcome those fears.
I believe are culture is very inundated with violence, and it's part of my problem. The movies we watch, the TV shoes, the books, the news... there are so many things out there screaming death and destruction. It is easy sometimes to believe that when u are alone at night something awful could seriously happen to u.
But tonight I was really hit with this song. Please watch it. It's real. I really, really like real. There are too many phony things out there. Too many things and people that are trying to look their best for everyone else. I'm very guilty of this at times too.
Tonight I learned somethings even if it wasn't the first time: I want to be real for everyone. I want to be a friend. I want to be unafraid of what man can do to me. I want to be all that God wants me to be. Still learning, still striving.
Here's the links:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0luHiWwi08&feature=related

Eli

Customize your own digital slideshow

God's holding me

Eli's 6 and half weeks old. He's growing up in every single way. His little legs are starting to take on some serious chunk, his length is starting to keep him from wearing some of his smaller onesies, and he is starting to really enjoying playing with me during the day. I sing to him, read to him, rock him, bounce him, carry him around, take him on walks, and more.

However, each evening he has a hard time. I think that the little guy is experiencing so many new things all the time, that he has to have himself a little cry when the day is done. Joe and I work hard at soothing him, and most of the time we are successful.

It's hard work. We change tactics all the time until we land upon something that pleases him that evening. We are definitely problem solvers with this little guy.

Last night as I was rocking and hugging little Eli, and he continued to kick his feet, squirm his little body, and make fussy noises. I asked Joe why Eli looked so stressed. I said that Eli has everything he needs. We make sure he is well-fed, has clean clothes, a clean diaper, plenty of things to look at, and warm arms to hold him. He really doesn't have anything to be stressed about.

Joe turned to me and said that what I'd just said was a perfect illustration for why we shouldn't be worried and stressed either. God is our heavenly Father, and he makes sure, as the Scriptures say, that we have our needs met. He holds us and feeds us and loves us in the same way that we hold, love, and feed Eli.

It was a wonderful reminder. God is our Father, and He loves us, hard to imagine, infinitely more than I could ever love my precious, little son. WOW!!

^{Matthew 6: 25}"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^{b]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[b]}?

²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

I think worrying comes natural to a new parent. It has definitely been a daily struggle for me not to worry, and a challenging spiritual exercise to continually throw my worries about my precious, new little man at God's feet. He's so dependent on me. He cannot eat, change himself, raise his head, travel anywhere without my help. It's hard not to worry about doing the right thing. There are so many decisions. Every day is a new adventure, and I adamantly want to do the right thing. But I don't want to be a worrier. Studying the Scriptures I don't think it's ever what God wants for us so how not to worry.

Daily, no that's not right, hourly surrender.

It has been and continues to be my favorite word. Surrender. So incredibly vital to a healthy walk with Jesus. And so vitally important as I venture forward, boldly, in my first year as a mom.

Lord, help me. ;-)

Eli and sleep

Life with a newborn is never dull. I think it's because that regardless of the fact that my life consists of an endless cycle of feeding, changing, playing with, and trying to help Eli fall asleep, my mind is constantly working, constantly pondering what is it I could do to help Eli be the best he can be, namely in the area of sleep.

Eli has a hard time going to sleep. He revels in the warm comfort of a heartbeat and has a very difficult time falling to sleep if his ear isn't nestled against mine. ;-) I love my cuddlebug, but this does make certain activities in life very challenging: making dinner, cleaning, going anywhere, taking a shower, moving at all. Therefore, my mind is constantly working on ways throughout the day and things that I can do to help the little guy sleep so that his times of being awake are filled with happy grins and not discontented cries.

I love my little guy so much and have been told by my mom on several occasions that I had a hard time sleeping and don't that beat all, I still do. ;-) So hopefully Eli's light sleeping and need to be sleeping in someone's arms isn't a long term indicator of his future success as a sleeper, BUT he's also got his father's genes and praise the Lord, Joe is an amazingly gifted sleeper. ;-)

Eli's Here ;-)

It has been a VERY exciting week at the Gallucci household. On April 24th at 11:57 we welcomed our new baby boy, Eli Rocco Gallucci, into the world.

On Thursday, April 22nd I went to my ob appt. and was sorely disappointed because I was one day past my due date and not very dilated yet. My doctor scheduled me for an induction on May 3rd, which I really didn't want to have to do. Joe and I went on an hour long walk that night.

I didn't have to wait long. On Friday, the very next day at 2 in the morning I started feeling some strong contractions. At least I thought they were strong at the time. ;-) I got out of bed because I couldn't sleep through them and told Joe in the morning. We timed them, called the doctor, and went in at 8 am for a check-up. I was only 1/2 centimeter more dilated than I'd been the day before. Disappointed because I really thought that it was going to be the day, we went home.

However, to Joe and I's surprise the doctor's estimation that it would days before I had the baby were not correct. Throughout the day, the contractions got stronger and stronger though they weren't consistently close together so we stayed home. That night I tried to go to sleep, an extremely unfruitful goal. I took a shower and a bath, which didn't seem to help much, then I woke up Joe. He was very loving, and I had a tough time on the rocker and our yoga ball. When we started timing the contractions at about midnight, they were about 2 minutes in length and 2 and a half minutes apart. We called the doctor, and we headed to the hospital. When we got there, the nurse said I still had a little ways to go until I could be admitted. She told us to walk the halls for an hour and come back. Definitely the worst part of labor so far. The contractions stayed as close together as they had been but they got even stronger with all the walking. It was not fun at all. At that point it was 3 am, and I hadn't slept for 25 hours.

The nurse was amazed at how fast I'd progressed and admitted me. I opted for an epidural because I was so exhausted at that point. I felt immediate pain relief, but they had a hard time placing the needle and the medicine crept up toward my lungs so they could only give me the smallest dose to be safe, which proceeded to completely wear off during my hospital stay but eventually they gave me some more which was wonderful. I was progressing nicely and when I started to deliver Eli, he was born only 15 minutes later.

He was tiny and purple and so beautiful. I held him on my chest and stroked his little fingers. Joe then got to stand with him as they checked all his stats. He was a very healthy little boy.

8 pounds 1 ounce, 20 and a half inches, and 13.98 inch head.

We had a great time bonding with him, and he was a great eater from the very beginning, which was SUCH a blessing. We are filled to the top with blessings and have had a simply amazing time at home with him, learning his three favorite things: being changed, eating, and sleeping. The joys of having a newborn. ;-) Looking forward to every day that I get to spend with our little boy.

Four more Weeks...

I remember when I used to sit perfectly still so that I could hear Eli's gentle movements, not so anymore. I rub my tummy, he kicks back, he rolls, he elbows, he flips. He is already quite a strong young man.

I think it is amazing how when I wake up on either my right or left side in the middle of the night, he's there on whatever side is closest to the mattress. I can feel his entire body lying on my side. It's crazy to think that he's inside me, just waiting to come out.

He only has 4 more weeks till his due date, and I'm hopeful that he'll decide to be on time. He's already over five and a half pounds and growing quickly.

I'm tired and can't what it was like to sleep on my back or tie my own shoes, or sleep through the night. We find out this Tuesday what position he's in. Even though only 5% of babies are breech, I'm still nervous.

Two more weeks until Spring Break. It has become quite a countdown. I feel like every day at work is a marathon. Especially after 1 every day, all I want to do is curl up on the floor and take a nap. It's hard to push through those last two hours, but I'm very thankful I don't work till 5.

I'm starting to get anxious about labor and delivery. Mostly because there are so many unknowns, so many things that could potentially go wrong. I pray continually for peace and that all three of us would make us through the experience stronger and closer and more alive because of it.

I can't wait to meet baby Eli, but until that day I am taking one day at a time, pushing ahead.