Intro. to my new novel...

Darkness is a difficult thing to grab. It is slippery, thick, and everywhere. My Darkness is different. He has teeth, a mind, and an intense loathing for the one he is designed to torture, me. My Darkness is a curse destined to follow me, everywhere. Escaping him is my deepest, most ardent obsession.
My name is Sadie… Not Sadie Smith or Sadie Jones, just Sadie. Failure, rejection, and loneliness are my constant companions. I keep them stored in my back pocket. If a good experience attempts to rear its head, one of these three shows up and beats it down.

My life has been wrapped in a shroud of mystery, and my death, it seems, has been following me wherever I turn, ready and waiting to grasp its spindly claws around my neck and pull me down. Down into slippery, all-encompassing darkness where My Darkness and I will live out the remainder of our eternal years together side by side, two tortured lonely souls.

My life shifted dramatically on Sept 27th for this was the day I moved in with the Rinehouse family, and for so many varied reasons, it is a day that time will never allow me forget. I have written this account as a beacon of directional light for those to follow, hopefully directing more than a few away from the fate that was mine.

Putting first things first...

"When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased."

CS Lewis

Choosing Happiness...

God is challenging me through my reading of a book called Happiness is a Choice. One of the things that struck me when reading this book is that the author suggests that these seven things must be in place in your life in order to have a happy, well balanced life. It did me good to think on them:

1. Commit your life daily to the purpose of glorifying Jesus Christ.

2. Spend some time daily meditating on God's Word and applying it to your life.

3. Get rid of grudges daily.

4. Spend a little time every day getting more intimate with your mate and children. Parents, brothers, sisters, and other close relatives should also have a high priority. Do all you can to resolve family conflicts.

5. Spend some time each week having fellowship and fun with at least one or two committed Christian friends. If you are married, have fun with other married couples. In this way husband and wife can both benefit from intimacy with others.

6. Be involved in a daily routine (including work, play, housework, projects) that brings personal satisfaction to you. Be convinced that this routine is God's will and purpose for your life-your way of glorifying him.

7. Do something nice for one special person each week. This kind deed can be physical (helping with a chore, for example), emotional (buying a book or giving counsel), or spiritual (having devotions together).

Which one of these seven do you need to work on this week?

God is Moving...

An important thing I learned at Biola and will never forget is that God will accomplish his purposes in the world whether or not we join in, but we should rejoice in the opportunity to be a part of what he is doing in the world. He chooses to use us and when we are used by him, we have a chance to experience the indescribable joy that only he can offer.
Please help us serve him by serving them.

C.A.T.S.

So lately I have been trying to break into print, submitting my novel to agents and writing magazine articles for publication.

I wrote an article last night about the C.A.T.S. prayer. Have you ever heard of such a thing? When I was first learning how to pray in elementary school at good ole' Valley Bible, I learned an acrostic for prayer that goes like this:

C.onfession

A.doration

T.hanksgiving

S.upplication

I have to admit that I still use this prayer guideline at times. I think that it follows a beautiful sequence, confessing your sins before God, praising God for his greatness, thanking him for what he has given me, and then humbly asking for what I need.

It is easy to at times focus on the S part of the prayer, but it is a good reminder that prayer is not only about answered requests, it is also about growing and refining a relationship between yourself and the Creator of the World.

A prayer for today:

Dear Lord,

I am sorry that at times I come to you to ask first and foremost without first revering you for the great things you have done and the greatness of who you are. Forgive me for limiting you at times.
I love you. I praise you for the sky, the trees, for creating humankind. This world is an amazing place, and I pray that I never stop marveling at the wonder that is found there.

I thank you are praise you for all the blessings that you have laid in my lap, all the beautiful things that I don't deserve. For my husband, my family, my lovely condo, Fabio Gaston, eyes to see, and lips to praise you.

I ask for clarity in the days ahead. I pray for wisdom with how Joe and I should spend our time during the days ahead. There are so many decisions before us, and I pray that you would direct our way and make every decision perfectly clear because we want to bring you glory through what we do.

I praise you, thank you, love you, and need yo

In your powerful, holy name.

Amen