Counting sand

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! 

How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them, 

they would outnumber the grains of sand. 

When I awake, 

I am still with you.

Joe and I went to the beach yesterday. Beautiful places restore me. I feel closer to God and have the oppourtunity to be still. Have you ever lifted a handful of sand and let it sift through your open fingers. Have you  tried to count the small particles that drop from the palm of your hand to the sand below? 

If you could count the grains of sand on all the beaches of the world, that number would not be enough to continue the sheer mass of thoughts that God has for you and for me. 

I am often overwhelmed with my thoughts. They move so quickly, spinning and twirling through the dark recesses of my mind. They can often be confusing or conflicting. But you and I can seek peace in the fact that God's thoughts towards us are many and that to him you are precious, a unique, special creation of his hand. Ask him for clariy through the confusion. Ask him for the wisdom to make the right decisions even when your thoughts on the issue are confusing. 

Yesterday, I let my mind wander through the events of the past few weeks. So many things have happened. Life is in a continual surge of change. Every day is different than the one before. 

I remember hearing advice from a marriage book that said how important it was to grow and change WITH your partner because a month, or a year, or five years down the road neither of you will be the same person you were before. I know that Joe and I aren't the same people we were when we met over four years ago. We've been changed through our experiences, God, each other, friends, family, and more. We must learn how to grow and flex and change with each other. If we don't, one of us will be broken or isolated through the change. 

I find that it is more difficult for me to adjust to the ways that I'm changing than the ways that Joe is. I find that I have more grace for others than I do for myself. I don't know if you've ever struggled with that. The bar that I set for myself is higher than the one I set for those I love. 

Learn to be gracious to yourself as you change. Learn to be gracious with others as they change. And continue to pray and seek God through times of change so that the change will be honoring to him at all times.